nutcases in a nutshell with my heart dipped in hell

MY GOSH it is so nice to be out of Los Angeles and be away from the mega-church.

Not that it didn't help me out and not that God didn't use it to teach me a "butt-load of crap," as Nacho Libre would say, but now that I'm out of the scene and can once again think with somewhat of a sober mind I can see how that place was eating me, and is currently eating many others, alive from the insides out.

I think it's interesting how the concept of preaching the gospel turned into an almost exclusively narrow sighted event, focused on people in the streets and on drugs and in crisis situations who are far more willing to accept the invitation to altar call than your normal average Joe person.  Why else would someone be stepping into a "seeker friendly" church for the first time, as an outsider to the body of Christ?  

Not that I see a problem with the concept of going after the hurting.  Jesus rolled with prostitutes and lepers, and I think we are correct in following his example.  Hang out with the hurting and the destitute, and tell them the "good news"  [which is what the word "gospel" actually means].  Eternal life with a good God etc...

But I have a few bones to pick with the byproducts of OUR faults as humans, trying to run seeker friendly churches like the one I lived at/worked at full time for the past three years. 

 What exactly *IS* the gospel??????  Do we even know anymore?  What is this "good news" that people are all amped up on, running around with spiritual pride and a virtual complete lack of self-control when it comes to the fruits of the spirit and spiritual maturity?

Let me tell you something:  WHO GIVES A FLYING F#CK ABOUT NUMBERS!??!?  Who cares about altar call numbers, who cares about how many people are in your church, who cares about number of people you got to say the sinner's prayer last week??????  WHO CARES?  And this is why you SHOULDN'T care:  We don't know people's hearts.  You could get 100 people to say the sinner's prayer (i was the outreach director of a major outreach ministry in arguably the biggest missionary field in the US, I've SEEN this with my own eyes) and it won't mean a thing! Why?  Because sometimes people feel pressured to pray, or convicted by man and not by the Holy Spirit, or are appeasing the person witnessing or whatever.

Well, what about altar calls??  Same exact deal.  I've seen "altar calls" of 200 people week after week after week after week after (snore....) week after week after week after (zzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz) week.  And the pastor's are pretty much pinching their own asses, trying to goose themselves into feeling some sort of feeling for the same old routine that brings many of the same exact people to the front week after week.  So, in my experience and to the best of my discernment - I'd say there's maybe ....    15-25 of those "200" per altar call who are new to the front or who are genuinely giving their hearts to Christ.  NO small number indeed, considering one is enugh to make the angels rejoice.  But i think sometimes our faithlessness in God's power is manifested collectively after dripping down from the people at the top who are so concerned, so often, with looking good and having fantastic P.R. and keeping the show rolling that they don't realize/can't bring themselves to realize that this "evangelistic counting" is really just bold-faced lying that eventually trickles down and poisons their own people.   Discounting all the staff, altar workers, repeaters who'd go up to the front for a bake sale or tire alignment as fast and indifferently as they'd go for the altar call (some people are HIGHLY encouraged to go forward.  Trust me),  and people who are like the seeds from Jesus' parable that eventually prove to have fallen amongst thorns (get choked out of following Christ by the cares of the world) or who fall on rocky ground (those who get all excited at first but fall away because they have no root ------------------------  then you've only got a good handful of people going up there genuinely getting "saved."   And the leaders all know it yet continue in their "exaggerations" of the numbers.

Again, not to say God doesn't move and touch people's lives greatly during these moments.  Just that He doesn't need our help to try and finish His awesome work.  It's not like His work is found lacking at the end of the day and we need to pad His numbers to redeem Him to His own people.

And church numbers.  If i hear another pastor of a mega-church talking about "church growth" and the fact that if you're church isn't growing rapidly from year to year that you have a stale church and a big problem, Im going to throw up.  In fact, I think it's HEALTHY for a church to sometimes go through a decline;  weed out the ones who aren't really interested in hearing God's true voice.   Too often, churches tip toe on eggshells while trying not to offend their members so they preach like one island verse a Sunday and then "expound" on it with whatever life's lessons they have from their own personal lives, tell some jokes, and then hit the doors by 11:30.  It keeps people coming back because many people HATE the concept of sitting in church and being bored by the pastor so if the pastor keeps it to 20 mins, the chances they'll come back are huge.

But the point is this:  if you actually PREACH the word of God, His sheep know His voice.  You will gain who you are supposed to gain, find who you are supposed to find.  And if you lose 300 full-yet-empty seats in the process, oh well!  At least you genuinely tried to get them saved too, genuinely tried to give them a chance to hear what the Bible really has to say.  What God really has to say.

One of the fastest quoted scriptures in the Bible is Hosea 4:6 "my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge,"  yet there are very few pastors and preachers out there who are actually preaching the Bible and not instead just a bunch of tangents en route to another "incredible, super-duper, ridiculously successful" altar call after the likes of which we can chalk up numbers, pat eachother on the asses, and call it a day. 

It's this type of fakeness that turns off God's own people.  It this whole "frost-tip my hair, im a dude but i wear foundation, metrosexual, fake smiling fake handshakes fake "good to see you/nice to meet you", fake salvation, FAKE CHURCH FALSE IDOL" type of mentality that dupes poor people into thinking this is the way the church is really supposed to be. 

NEWS FLASH YOU CORNY, LOST & POOR SONSOFBITCHES - God doesn't care what we look like on the outside!  God doesn't care about all the good works in the world if our heart isn't right!  Stop trying to redeem yourselves to the world.  No more "hey guys, look here - we're cool too!  Look, LOOK!!!! We're Hollywood, check out our lighting and cool guitar riffs!  We're cool too!!!"

We're called to be the head and not the tail, and when a church runs around trying to grab onto and hang onto the coat heels of some "celebrity" so and so to get them and come visit their church and hype the crap out of it before hand - thats what I call being the tail.  Chasing after the world.  Yknow what?  I dont care if Billy Blanks the Tae Bo guy comes to your church.  I don't care if the supporting actress girl from "You Got Served" or whatever comes to your church.  I don't care if Harrison Ford's body double is coming to speak at your church!  WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop grab-assing the world with little tic tac testimonies to boost your numbers when the people that are already in your church are dying like flies in their ignorance.